Doldrums and Sarcasm

You know 10:30 PM is really too late to start typing a post, but there are so many words floating around in my brain. Life sure has kept me from my therapy, i.e. blogging, recently. One of the crazy things I've been doing is trying to find out more info on saving money on groceries. Apparently it is a science. If any of you have any secrets about coupon sites, gathering points, or how to get something for nothing, please share. I have spent so much time filling out surveys, so that I can get their extra special coupons, only to be disappointed because I don't have the tenacity or patience to hang on to the very end. Usually I just waste time and give out way too much information.

We also decided, since we had 1 extra hour this past weekend in between soccer games, to rearrange 3 different rooms for the umpteenth time. You know, I am not actually a huge fan of change. My husband, on the other hand, comes from a family with 5 kids, and and he is a pro making things fit. He has been trying to teach me the value of opening my mind to this art form for 13 years. In the end, after the heated discussions, it is almost always better. (Except for the time I was pregnant with my fifth child and living in a two bedroom apartment with the other 4 kids while our new house was being built, and he rearragned things while I was at a mom's day retreat. Not that I hold onto past issues or anything.) It usually drives me mad as we think about every single possible arrangement, then we start to make progress, and then usually have to stop for 5 days until we can get back to it.

Then there is the tired issue. By the time the last child is in bed, I tend to collapse onto the couch, saying I'm just going to sit down "for a minute." Every day I have these ideas about going to sleep at 9. It never happens. I miss the days of lights out for everyone at 8:30. In my fantasy world, I would be disciplined enough to go to bed on time, wake up early so I can have a few moments to gather my thoughts, maybe even pray, imagine that, before everyone is up and at me. Maybe some day I will become the person I want to be. Instead I find myself having a little late night chocolate and/or caffeine snack for one extra energy push, then waking up the next morning after my over achieving daughters are up, only feeling like I am trying to catch up all day. I guess I am going to just keep trying. There is a place in scripture, somewhere in the Old Testament, that says the just man falls 7 times, but keeps getting up and trying. Lord help me to keep getting up...I think I am way past 7 times.